Love Languages | How To Have Better Relationships

Illustration of the Five Love Languages
Illustration of the Five Love Languages

What Are Love Languages?

Gary Chapman, PhD is an author, speaker and counsellor who coined the term ‘Love Languages. He wrote the book ‘ The 5 Love Languages’ and goes into detail about how understanding these can help you have better relationships with other people. And these don’t just have to be romantic relationships either! (With the exception of physical touch) You can utilise almost all the languages to serve you in how you interact and communicate with others on a daily basis!

Love Languages represent how different people with widely different lifestyles and personalities prefer, to give and receive love. Do you like it when someone grabs you a snack from the shops? Do you like just having one on one time with someone? Dr Chapman has analysed many people and how they act and react to many different forms of love and identified these five as our Love Languages!

Let’s dig in!

Acts of Service

Community service by helping out in the garden
Community service by helping out in the garden

For the large majority of people, actions speak louder than words! That’s right the way straight to these hearts is by doing things for them. That could be doing the dishes for them, giving them a hand with chores or simply getting them a snack from the servo. Acts of service in this regard don’t have to be big massive tasks like remodelling the kitchen, it’s the little things that count. Some go-to acts for you could be;

  • Doing the dishes
  • Making them a coffee
  • Grabbing them a snack
  • A home cooked meal

Receiving Gifts

Giving gifts can be a great way to show affection
Giving gifts can be a great way to show affection

This one probably couldn’t be more straightforward. People who like receiving gifts…like receiving gifts! Grab them a bar of chocolate, a ring or a new book they will love it all. Receiving a gift from someone important to them makes them feel the most loved that they can because it shows you were thinking about them. Gifts could include;

  • Chocolate
  • Jewlery
  • Things that contribute to their hobbies
  • Gift them an experience, like the movies, or an event in your area

Quality Time

Young couple spending quality time together
Young couple spending quality time together

Time is the age-old way to show affection. If you want to see something grow you need to give it time and consistency and that will apply the same to your relationships with others. Having a portion of time, every day or every week where the distractions (phones) are put away where you can just focus on the other person is really important. Go on an adventure, play a board game or even watch a movie, it doesn’t matter!

  • Hiking
  • Board Games
  • Movies
  • Build a Pillow Fort

Words of Affirmation

Definition of love
Definition of love

A picture is worth a thousand words but for people who like words of affirmation, words are worth a thousand emotions. A simple I appreciate/love/like you is all they need to feel wanted in their lives. Compliments will go so far and make them so happy! And who doesn’t love being told they’re great?!

  • Tell them what you love about them
  • Compliment their appearance
  • Acknowledge their accomplishments

Physical Touch

A warm embrace or hug
A warm embrace

This has been left for last as this one usually, not always but usually will be left for romantic partners or family. Hugs, handshakes and friendly wrestling is all well and good for the right people. In the appropriate manner even just simply placing your hand on theirs will make them feel like a million bucks. You don’t need to get complex about it, just make sure it’s consensual and appropriate. You don’t need examples for this one, get creative!