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Why Do We Compare Ourselves?

Why Do We Compare Ourselves?

One of the biggest pieces of advice you will hear in life is “Don’t compare yourself to others”. I don’t need to be the one to tell you, that this is easier said than done. It is genuinely one of the harder things in life, to look at someone else maybe a friend, family member or influencer/content creator; to look at them and say “Why not me?”, “I’m behind in life.” etc.

Why We Compare

Comparing situations is natural human behaviour and realistically speaking comparing, in general, isn’t really that bad. Comparing at least for now is the only way we have to gauge our progress; new you vs old you, other people who are roughly your age and where they are in life, and other people working within your industry. These in small doses, really do help motivate and provide a healthy amount of stress to make do a little bit better.

The Divide When Comparing Yourself

Unfortunately, we can’t know everything.

But this thing we call ‘The Divide’ almost goes hand in hand with imposter syndrome.

The Divide When Comparing Yourself
Imposter Syndrome Definition

Where we simultaneously believe we know absolutely nothing about the field or topic we’re in when realistically we have spent every waking hour studying it, learning it and breathing it, while also believing that everyone else has a much, much higher level of understanding and knowledge on the subject matter. There is a divide of knowledge that we believe we have, it seems that everyone else has it all together, knows what they’re doing and where they’re going, when actually they’re just as clueless as the rest of us!

The Problem

This is an age-old simile but it still stands strong and accurate today! But I’ll paraphrase it a little bit. When you see other people online or out and about and you start to make a comparison to yourself.

“wow they really have it all, nice clothes, money, confidence, why can’t I be where they are?”

The reason you aren’t where they are is that not even they are there!
They are letting you see what they want you to see and nothing more. If you had some mental health trouble and had a cry before work, are you going around telling everyone you did with eyes still red, puffy and dripping? No. You cleaned yourself up and put on a face. (This is an issue for another day but please seek help if you need it!) That person you saw had up the best version of themselves for you to see. Like a Tinder profile, they selected what clothes they thought would show the most confidence or would ‘look’ wealthy. Fret not we all fall into this trap you aren’t alone.

Conclusion

In short, Comparisons are motivators, they are things that help us become better versions of ourselves, but comparisons are also the cause of much stress, anxiety and worry for many people. Like with anything in life you need to strike a balance. Can’t have too much of a good thing. Don’t compare, just be you.

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